Lost on Freak Ave...👀

Over these last few months I have been lost in my freak journey. I am struggling to find myself again. Unfortunately, these challenges have been very difficult; to even find that fire in me again. I’m sharing this because I am real, and I am trying to find myself again. In the mean time, I am hoping that by finding myself again that I’ll come back stronger, freakier, and more confident than ever. Until then See you later Space Cowboys.


“Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” 
― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

😑Beta🙄:The Struggle from within

When I 1st came into my Leather Family the thought of me being Beta was a bit unsettlingly for me. Mostly because I dislike that words so much. That it made me want to Barf. Please understand that I'm not bad mouthing "Beta" itself . But more referring to as my place in a family. My personal definition of Beta was someone who was submissive, No power nor saying in a family topic, but more importantly not respected. Because in all honestly I thought that I was going to be Alpha. My feeling about that felt like Sky from Power Ranger SPD didn't get the Red Ranger, but Blue Ranger instead (only my nerdy freak will get the reference). But over time I became to understand on why Daddy made that decision. It wasn't because of age but simply for that I hav lot to learn about myself, the world, and their need wanting to protect me from certain individual. So needless to say that Beta to me is not bad, it's actually power beyond measure. To what that's exactly I am still figuring out. But trust when I know so will you. 

"I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You don't hear much about us, but there's a lot more of us out there."
Christopher Moore 

In Leather We Pray

Treble Onyx