Sunday, May 19, 2019

Lost on Freak Ave...πŸ‘€

Over these last few months I have been lost in my freak journey. I am struggling to find myself again. Unfortunately, these challenges have been very difficult; to even find that fire in me again. I’m sharing this because I am real, and I am trying to find myself again. In the mean time, I am hoping that by finding myself again that I’ll come back stronger, freakier, and more confident than ever. Until then See you later Space Cowboys.

“Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” 
― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Saturday, May 18, 2019

πŸ˜‘BetaπŸ™„:The Struggle from within

When I 1st came into my Leather Family the thought of me being Beta was a bit unsettlingly for me. Mostly because I dislike that words so much. That it made me want to Barf. Please understand that I'm not bad mouthing "Beta" itself . But more referring to as my place in a family. My personal definition of Beta was someone who was submissive, No power nor saying in a family topic, but more importantly not respected. Because in all honestly I thought that I was going to be Alpha. My feeling about that felt like Sky from Power Ranger SPD didn't get the Red Ranger, but Blue Ranger instead (only my nerdy freak will get the reference). But over time I became to understand on why Daddy made that decision. It wasn't because of age but simply for that I hav lot to learn about myself, the world, and their need wanting to protect me from certain individual. So needless to say that Beta to me is not bad, it's actually power beyond measure. To what that's exactly I am still figuring out. But trust when I know so will you. 

"I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You don't hear much about us, but there's a lot more of us out there."
Christopher Moore 

In Leather We Pray
Treble Onyx

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

I share that I may grow In Self care

We all have things that we don't like to say out loud. But sometime admitting that you have a problem will jumpstart the path to change. 

There's something about me that some may not know, and that is that i don't criticism very well— whether it's good or bad. I tend to get very defensive, sometimes to the point that I hurt those around me that I deeply care for— such as friends, chosen family, and myself.

The reason why I'm sharing this with my fellow freaks is because I need to change this about myself. It is my hope that by sharing this about me I, first, admit that i have a problem and second, i seek help. This is a new step for me. 

This will be challenging as I am a "creature of habit". Only time will tell, but dedication is the key

Monday, February 18, 2019

Poems for Ohana ♥️

On the month of love our family was born.  It was magical and beautiful, just like a unicorn.  So the members consist of Daddy, Alpha, Beta and Uncle too.  I will admit that in joining a family I simply had no clue.  But one thing that’s certain, this is something I definitely want to pursue.  So as we celebrate a year in family, happiness, disagreements and love.  Just know that this family is just as beautiful as a dove.  Even though we can drive each other bananas, I’m happy to call them my OHANA’s...

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Daddy Moment!!!

Image may contain: 2 peopleImage may contain: 2 people, including Derrick Young, beardThis past month, we honored our Daddy by capping him (this is a term used to label the action of a muir cap being placed on a man in recognition of is place in a leather family and the leather community at large). It was and always shall be, a heart warming moment. I will admit I cried for 5 seconds or so. I would like to thank ICON for allowing us to do this on their night and for providing the birthday cake. Thank you Jeffrey Hart for communicating with me for weeks to plan this night. To Onyx GL, thank you for being there not just as brothers but also as family. To Uncle Legionnaire and John Carlsen for the amazing road trip, conversation, and brotherhood. To Cheshire Capriccio and Voudou Onyx thank you both for the stories of Daddy Jay and the laughter. To Puma, thank you babe for the love that you provide, your smile, and for being the glue that keeps this family as one unit... Special thank to everyone who submitted a video for Daddy birthday!

Now, on to Daddy Jay. For those who don't know, when I met Daddy it was the winter of 2017. Truth be told, when Daddy introduce himself to me I was a total Bitch to him.... He'll tell you, "this boy almost bit my head off". But, fast forward a couple of years and now this man is my Daddy (yes with his head still intact lol).  He has shown me many things including the multiple ways that a Leather Man should conduct himself. Being a part of your nite and having all those present to witness your capping, was like something out of a movie. With so much love and happiness it made it a night that I will truly will not forget. 

#Hereforus #Ohana #RepresentationMatters #WeAreOnyx

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Bunny Carrot (My 1st Dildo Experience)

So over the summer I've been feeling my bottom oats (Bunny in heat). So I decided to purchase my first dildo at the age of 27 (better late than never). I have always hesitated in buying one because, I worried what the person I'm dating would think about it, seeing as I'm mostly a top in the relationship. I assumed that buying one would hurt their "image" of me. But that was in the past. I am now in a partnership in which we talk about the good, bad, and the down right ugly.

One day I asked Puma how would he feel about me buying a dildo? His response was everything: "Babyboy have fun and soar." To me, that was so heartwarming and amazing--to have a partner that wants me to soar with or without him. But most importantly, his support was so satisfying.

After a couple of days of comparing various type of dildos and looking for a POC one, I ordered a King Cock Size 9 (go big or go home) on Amazon. I was hoping to get an uncut one, but unfortunately they were out of stock (Lucky Bitch to whoever order the last 3 in a matter of 3 min). It arrived within a day (Prime Member status). Later that weekend I came over to Puma's so we could try it out.

While having sex, Puma decided to try it out on me. At first it hurt like a bitch, but after several hits of poppers it felt okay. I could feel Puma enjoying it a bit too much. He was trying to shove it "balls-deep", responded with "whoa whoa whoa". After  that night I tried it at home. I was curious to see how it would feel by going at my pace and finding a technique that would work for me. A few things I learned are:

  1. Be very patient.
  2. Use plenty of lube.
  3. Use poppers (the good kind).
  4. Go as far as your body allows you to.
  5. AGAIN please take your time.

If would you like to buy a Dildo from Amazon here is the link ..

Monday, September 3, 2018


So I have realized that during the course of our relationship, I was told that my journey was no longer my journey but ours--meaning, that while yes, we're two different individuals, our paths have now merged into something magical. We learn something new about each other every day. Since our paths have merged, it has been one hell of a ride (in a good way). Not a day goes by that I think, that I wouldn't change it for anything in the universe.