The Ugly Truth Of A Freak....

 

We as human beings are offered two choices; tell the truth or lie. We’re taught that telling the truth is the honest and best way to go through life. But often times we ignore this and lie--in hopes that we could protect others from the impact of the truth. For example I was asked a question earlier last week, I chose to lie because, in my own way, I thought that I was protecting the person that asked the question, from the impact that the truth would have on them. I assumed that by being honest I would hurt them more. Over the weekend, I learned that ‘white lies’ caused greater disappointment with just seeing the look they had in their eyes. My actions cannot be justified nor am I wanting to try (well, not any more). By learning from this experience, I see that I need to be honest and truthful with others at all times. Most importantly I need to be honest and truthful with myself. How can I preach about living my truth when I can’t even be honest? The face of disappointment is something that I never want to see on anyone I care about again. But then again these are only words. There has to be action to back up my words.

 Honesty refers to the quality of being truthful and sincere whereas truthfulness refers to the quality of telling the truth.

"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives." 

Mark Twain 



Rubber Cub 🐻

Over this past week I attended MWR (Midwest Rubber) to show support as well as represent Onyx. The overarching driver for my support was to find out more about rubber as a lifestyle/kink. I have taken an interest over this past year in rubber-- by asking respected Rubber People such as Jeff, Beacon, questions regarding rubber, care, what style is right for you, brand, and price (this lifestyle is not cheap whatsoever) etc. About two years ago I decided to try on some rubber at FK (Full Kit), so that I could get a feel and see how it would look on my body. Needless to say that it was a bit different and I felt hot. Here is a pic from FK when I tried it on:

During MWR week I decided to attend Kink U Classes to learn more about rubber, as well as check out the auction. While there I stumbled across a cat suit that caught my eye. I wanted to try it on so bad but I had no idea where to begin nor did I want to rip it. Most of the MWR Judges and others that I spoke to, guided me how to put it on. Once I finally got it on my body I felt at home. It made me feel so empowered, amazing, and sexy. Let me tell you though, after a while in the suit OMFG I was hot as fuck! During that entire weekend I learned so much. I would totally like to thank the MWR Judges, Puma (for helping me with throughout the night), Gerry, Jeff, and Beacon for allowing me to obtain some knowledge, and the Rubber Community for the encouragement, compliments, support, as well as welcoming me with me open latex lol….

"I wore so much rubber when I was at MGM, I bumped into the wall once, and I ricocheted."

-Rita Moreno

Sailor Mercury:Legionnaire

Dear Uncle, 

If you're reading this "warning you'll need Kleenex". When I first met you I was instantly drawn to you; Maybe because of your nerdiness or, the sense of welcome that you greeted me with. Either way I felt welcomed, loved, and most of all grateful. You're someone that I look up to, admire, respect—within the community and in my personal life. I'm privileged and honored to have you in my life, not just as my Uncle, but also as a friend, fellow anime nerd, and most importantly family. 

You're always there for me whenever I'm down, sad, or need someone to laugh with about silly stuff.  Over these last few years of getting to know each other, we have become very protective of one another. We also have helped each other realize the strength from within our journey so that we may soar. 

I simply want you to know that you're loved, acknowledge, more than enough, and wanted. If you don't believe me here're some comment from others that love you as well....



Joey
Not Only is he my big bro but he is a friend and  chosen family. To know him is to know a kind soul that loves as naturally as we breathe oxygen.

-Puma Onyx (Alpha)

When I began my journey some 5 years ago I met this amazing man. He is a gentle and kind soul. I tell him all the time whenever I see and hug him I’m put to ease and it feels like home.  When I went through a period of doubt and didn’t know which way to turn on my leather journey he was there  supporting me and nudging me along.  He is a vessel of knowledge and a whole lot of class. I am now honored to have him be apart of my leather family “Ohana” which means family.   He is a legendary leather and Onyx man and I am beyond proud to call him my Uncle Joey. He is truly family for me!

-Daddy Jay 

Lost on Freak Ave...👀

Over these last few months I have been lost in my freak journey. I am struggling to find myself again. Unfortunately, these challenges have been very difficult; to even find that fire in me again. I’m sharing this because I am real, and I am trying to find myself again. In the mean time, I am hoping that by finding myself again that I’ll come back stronger, freakier, and more confident than ever. Until then See you later Space Cowboys.


“Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” 
― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

😑Beta🙄:The Struggle from within

When I 1st came into my Leather Family the thought of me being Beta was a bit unsettlingly for me. Mostly because I dislike that words so much. That it made me want to Barf. Please understand that I'm not bad mouthing "Beta" itself . But more referring to as my place in a family. My personal definition of Beta was someone who was submissive, No power nor saying in a family topic, but more importantly not respected. Because in all honestly I thought that I was going to be Alpha. My feeling about that felt like Sky from Power Ranger SPD didn't get the Red Ranger, but Blue Ranger instead (only my nerdy freak will get the reference). But over time I became to understand on why Daddy made that decision. It wasn't because of age but simply for that I hav lot to learn about myself, the world, and their need wanting to protect me from certain individual. So needless to say that Beta to me is not bad, it's actually power beyond measure. To what that's exactly I am still figuring out. But trust when I know so will you. 

"I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You don't hear much about us, but there's a lot more of us out there."
Christopher Moore 

In Leather We Pray

Treble Onyx

I share that I may grow In Self care

We all have things that we don't like to say out loud. But sometime admitting that you have a problem will jumpstart the path to change. 

There's something about me that some may not know, and that is that i don't criticism very well— whether it's good or bad. I tend to get very defensive, sometimes to the point that I hurt those around me that I deeply care for— such as friends, chosen family, and myself.

The reason why I'm sharing this with my fellow freaks is because I need to change this about myself. It is my hope that by sharing this about me I, first, admit that i have a problem and second, i seek help. This is a new step for me. 

This will be challenging as I am a "creature of habit". Only time will tell, but dedication is the key

Poems for Ohana ♥️

On the month of love our family was born.  It was magical and beautiful, just like a unicorn.  So the members consist of Daddy, Alpha, Beta and Uncle too.  I will admit that in joining a family I simply had no clue.  But one thing that’s certain, this is something I definitely want to pursue.  So as we celebrate a year in family, happiness, disagreements and love.  Just know that this family is just as beautiful as a dove.  Even though we can drive each other bananas, I’m happy to call them my OHANA’s...