I Feel Free Like Free Willy!

So I recently attended CLAW (Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend). I was given a Maroon Kilt (favorite color) from Kilt Bros (http://www.kiltedbros.com/) as my "Happy 1st Claw" gift. I was so happy because, I've been wanting a kilt for quite some time now. That same night I decided to wear it out to the Leather Stallion. While getting dressed for the night I tried to wear some jock strap with the kilt. My family was looking at me like I was crazy. Apparently you're not supposed to wear a kilt with underwear or jock. Because otherwise it would be considered a skirt. Once I finally put it on I felt and looked so damn fucking sexy "Feeling like pussy. Feeling like cunt." Now, getting into the car was so confusing because I didnt know wether or not to close my legs or leave them wide open (hahaha). As we started walking to the bar I was feeling myself a bit too much by doing cart well, vouging, and twirling. I wanted to do a spilt but Puma said that it wasn't wise to do. But note to self wait till the weather is a little warmer. Because after the bar I was fucking cold that I couldn’t feel my balls. Overall my 1st Experience was fun and memorable.  

House Of Ohana: Always & 4ever

So this picture is worth a thousand words. It was less than a year ago when I started my Leather journey. Who would've thought that during my journey that I would’ve found a family along the way? Now this family is very special to me in so many ways because "they love me for who I am not who they want me to be". 

My Leather Uncle Legionnaire (Right Side) have always been there for me no matter what. I'm always able to learn about Leather History and Geek topics from him. He's an honorary Ohana because he's Puma big brother as well as me & Daddy's Leather Uncle. He's an outstanding person and I'm happy to call him my Uncle. But come on for knowing The Veronica Untouched! My favorite quotes from him is "We're all fine up in this car".  

My Daddy Phoenix (Middle) and I are equally protective of each other, but very protective when it comes to Puma (Left Side). We're basically the "Stitch" of this family. Every time I hug him I never want to let go. "I and you will never part". He's very funny and caring, but most importantly he finally got me to listen to some of Janet Jackson's music. Two words sum up my love for him "Diet Pepsi".

Last but not least my Partner (Puma). Wow you make me want to go get an echo for my heart. Because you make heart beat irregular whenever you're near or when I think about you. Not only are you my Partner but also my friend (Thank you for being a friend), big bro, and teammate "teamwork make the dream work".  

This is the house of Ohana and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I love them all very much. So yes a Freak can find a family to call his own. They accept me and love me no matter what!!!

<3 Ohana 

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black................

This is a RANT more than anything!!!!

I find it so damn funny that certain people try to judge you based on the changes you'd made for yourself; changes to become a better person. Those so-called friends that judged me, are the same individuals that were once supportive of me in my journey. I guess what I am trying to say is: people aren't always who they seem.

The reason for me bringing this up is: Prior to my journey, my friends had expressed their feelings about the leather community -- some thought that it is all about having sex with each other, and, not be safe about it (referred to as "RAW-DOGING"). My reaction was ugh! Others reaction was: "Do what makes you happy". I was also warned that this journey to self-discovery will consume most of my time, so I may not be around as much.

As time progressed, I started to make some changes within myself (as it was expected); I started to feel amazing about it and feel like the changes were a part of me all along. To some of my friends "this change happened overnight". Others stated that Onyx and my partner were changing me into someone they didn't know. All this while some of my friends started to understand why the changes were necessary, and they were truly happy for me. 

My reaction to this is: First of all dismiss me with that bullshit! How can you call yourself a friend, while being nothing but a "Negative Nancy"?  Secondly, I don't quite understand how a friend can take such a position. As a friend I expect dialogue, review all of the info and then formulate a response. How can someone categorically be negative without seeking to understand. Through this I have realized that "people fear what they don't or don't want to understand".

Those people that do not make an effort to learn or understand, are not meant to be in my life. More generally, I can summarize it bey saying: "Some people ARE ONLY MEANT TO BE IN YOU LIFE FOR A SEASON."

Communication? I Dont Know Her

So in a just a short amount of time I’ve learned that communication is the KEY to a healthy relationship. I’ve never experienced the true meaning of communication till I met my partner (Puma). I guess you can say that it was because I was a "people-pleaser" (still something that I struggle with). I would not communicate as well as I should've with my past partners in a way that it's healthy to do so. Lately I’ve learned “closed mouths don’t get fed”. In addition I was also reminded that I have a voice. That VOICE that I thought was lost within myself, was never lost! The issue at the time was that I was scared that my voice was going to enable people to judge me; Such as friends, families, and etc.. Communication also works hand-in-hand with friendship, setting up a play-session, as well as asking someone about their status (which IS OF GREAT IMPORTANCE).

One thing that I can say is that communication is something that takes time to master and grow into. You must be patient and always LISTEN when communicating...


"Great communication begins with connection. What makes us different from one another is so much less important than what makes us alike—we all long for acceptance and significance. When we recognize those needs in ourselves, we can better understand them in others, and that's when we can set aside our judgments and just hear." — Oprah

Brother Keeper

THANK YOU.......................

For showing that I never has to hide who I truly was, reminding me that I have a fucking VOICE (I just needed to remember how to use it.), supporting me throughout my journey and not giving up me even when I wanted to.

Thank you for being always being tough on me about certain topic. I can go on and on about HOW MY BIG BROTHER IS A FUCKING BEAST!! "But I don't has to because action speak louder than words" I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world (hmm maybe some Ariana Grande ticket JK lol).

Thank you Big Bro Puma Onyx

Love your little bro (always and forever),

Treble

Daddy’s Home

Daddy Home

So truth be told that when I 1st met Jerel. I will have to admit that I was a total bitch… yep I said it…. But please understand that I only was because at the time I was dating someone at the time who very judgmental and always trying to pick a fight whenever a guy approach me just to get to know me. So rather than trying to be nice to him (even though he was so cute and had this amazing smile that simple light up the room), I was a bitch. In way I was trying to save him from the attitude and shadiness of the EX. Sorry Daddy...

Now let flash forward to IML (Sunday). I got to know him more 1-on-1 by hanging out with him and Puma. He also got to know the real me that day as well. Especially when he bit me (OMG I FUCKING LOVE IT). So we had a little brief play scenebetween us. He also stops me from killing my Pledge Master (he Line Brother) before my process even began. Plus, when I was having a panic attack when the elevator stops in the hotel he manages to keep me calm. 

As times went by we started to become closer. Each day that we spoke my wall started to come down more and more for him.  I don’t know what it was but I could feel his feeling through the text because he wasn’t sure on how I may react to it. But that doesn’t matter to me because I don’t judge someone base off of that. That fact that he had the courage to tell me in our short amount of time talking. Showed me that he’s digging me and that he wanted to be honest about everything as well as express his feeling toward me. 

After that I slowly begun to call him Daddy. It was actually a surprise to me and I think for him as well. I didn’t expect to call him Daddy but it did. So why do I call him Daddy? Is it that fact he’s older and have gray hair? No (lmao). Trust me it’s not because he’s a Janet Jackson lover (side eyes lmao jk) I call him Daddy because he saw the real me before I even showed him that side of me. He is protective when it come to me no matter what. He has half of my heart while the other half is with Puma. He knows that I can be a brat at time and don’t mind it. He inspires me in a way to become the Leather Man I one-day hope be. He’s also my friend and my ohana. Whenever he calls me Babyboy I get this excitement in my body as well I tears from my eyes (damn I’m about to cried) because my Daddy have shown me in a short amount of time is that “family is not always blood, but it’s who you choose to be a part of it.”

But I’m no longer calling him Daddy. But Babo have a better ring and meaning to it.

Love you Always, Treble (Babyboy)  

Is this Freak ready 4 CHANGE?

So I will admit that I'm certainly not the same person that I once was 6 month ago before starting this journey. These last few months have taught me something so real; Here're a list of things that have changed the most within me.

1. Don't always be so bitchy or standoffish. Be able to show the real you and LIVE YOUR TRUTH as well as your FREAK nature.

   
   
2. SPEAK THE FUCK UP!  Always remember that you have a voice so don't hesitate when saying what you have to say. Stop worrying about what others may think of you when you voice your thoughts/opinions on something. FUCK THEM because they're not living your life or paying your bills.

   
   
3. Onyx is a welcoming experience to brotherhood and Leather Families. Now, over the last 6 month this process has shown me a sense of brotherhood. My LB (Line Brothers) are very DIFFERENT, funny, and protective of one another. I truly love them all (even though they may get on my nerves at times, LMAO). "Hear the sound. Love the tunes. Embrace the Symphony."

   
   
4. Most importantly SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! I've realized that the term means "Stop and think for just a minute. Think about the decision or action you're about to make and how it may affect those around you." .

My journey is far from over, if anything it has only just begun.
So, cheers to being a Freak! as well as a Leather Man.